HUMOUR BOOK

"If anything can go wrong, it will"

Murphy's Original Law

• If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

Murphy's Law

• If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's Law First Corollary

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Law Second Corollary

• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

The Murphy Law Philosophy

• Smile... tomorrow will be worse. 

Conclusions

1. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.
   Corollary - If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
2. If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.
3. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
4. If anything can't go wrong, it will anyway.
5. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
6. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
7. Everything takes longer than you think.
8. You never find a lost article until you replace it.
9. If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
10. You get the most of what you need the least.
11. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
12. Mother nature is a bitch. 

                                            

EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES

Best Example :

A slice of buttered toast, when dropped from a height, will always land butter side down This, the most famous of Murphy's paradoxes, is undeniably true. There is a full chance of the toast landing butter-side down. There is a reason why every piece of toast ever dropped lands butter side down. Most people deny this fact, and 'prove' to you that it isn't true by throwing pieces of toast into the air. The result is boring; 50% of the pieces landed butter-side up, while the other 50% landed butter-side down. However, this is not a true test of Murphy's law. It is not bad luck which caused the toast to fall; it's the stupidity of the person who threw them. The real importance of Murphy's law resides in the fact that it was bad luck that made the toast fall. If one was to sit at a table and push pieces of toast off your plate onto the floor, the results would be a phenomenal 100% butter-side down. The laws of rotational inertia state that the mass of an object determines the speed at which it rotates; the mass of an average piece of buttered toast is such that it will complete only one-half of one rotation if it falls any distance from approximately 0.5to 1.8m. m. This means that when a piece of buttered falls off your plate, it will always land with its butter side down.

Who was Murphy ?  Edward A. Murphy, Jr. was one of the engineers on the rocket-sled experiments that were done by the U.S. Air Force in 1949 to test human acceleration tolerances (USAF project MX981). One experiment involved a set of 16 accelerometers mounted to different parts of the subject's body. There were two ways each sensor could be glued to its mount, and somebody methodically installed all 16 the wrong way around. Murphy then made the original form of his pronouncement, which the test subject (Major John Paul Stapp) quoted at a news conference a few days later. Within months `Murphy's Law' had spread to various technical cultures connected to aerospace engineering. Before too many years had gone by variants had passed into the popular imagination, changing as they went. Most of these are variants on "Anything that can go wrong, will"; this is sometimes referred to as Finagle's Law. The memetic drift apparent in these mutants clearly demonstrates Murphy's Law acting on itself

Sanju Bhagat's stomach was once so swollen he looked nine months pregnant . Living in the city of Nagpur, India, Bhagat said he'd felt self-conscious his whole life about his big belly. But one night in June 1999, his problem erupted into something much larger than cosmetic worry. Mehta said that he can usually spot a tumor just after he begins an operation. But while operating on Bhagat, Mehta saw something he had never encountered. As he cut deeper into Bhagat's stomach, gallons of fluid spilled out — and then something extraordinary happened. "First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair."
At first glance, it may look as if Bhagat had given birth. Actually, Mehta had removed the mutated body of Bhagat's twin brother from his stomach.

2 . Ngoc - three decades without sleep

Sixty-four-year-old Thai Ngoc, known as Hai Ngoc, said he could not sleep at night after getting a fever in 1973, he has counted infinite numbers of sheep during more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights. "I don't know whether the insomnia has impacted my health or not. But I'm still healthy and can farm normally like others," Ngoc said. Proving his health, the elderly resident of Que Trung commune, Que Son district said he can carry two 50kg bags of fertilizer down 4km of road to return home every day. His wife said,

"My husband used to sleep well, but these days, even liquor cannot put him down." She added that when Ngoc went to Da Nang for a medical examination, doctors gave him a clean bill of health, except a minor decline in liver function.

3. Nakamatsu - photographed and analyzed every meal since 34 years

Yoshiro Nakamatsu (born June 26, 1928), a.k.a. Dr. NakaMats, is the Japanese inventor claiming to hold the world record for number of inventions with over 3,000, including the floppy disk and "PyonPyon" spring shoes. He has being photographing and retrospectively analyzing every meal he has consumed during a period of 34 years (and counting). The goal of Nakamatsu is to live over 140 years old.

4 . Yokoi - spent 28 years hidden after WWII

Shoichi Yokoi was a soldier, conscripted into the Imperial Japanese Army in 1941 and then sent to guam. In 1944, as American forces reconquered the island, Yokoi hide himself.

On January 24, 1972, Yokoi was discovered in a remote section of Guam by two of the island's inhabitants. For 28 years he had been hiding in an underground jungle cave, fearing to come out of hiding even after finding leaflets declaring that World War II had ended. "It is with much embarrassment that I have returned alive," he said upon his return to Japan.

5 . Mehran - living at the Airport since 1988

Mehran Karimi Nasseri, also known as Sir, Alfred Mehran, is an Iranian refugee who has been living in the departure lounge of Terminal One in Charles de Gaulle Airport since August 8, 1988. After he was later imprisoned, tortured and expelled from his country, he applied for asylum in many European countries without luck.

When he decided to go to the United Kingdom, he claimed that he was mugged, and his shoulder bag stolen . Nasseri managed to board the plane, but when he arrived at Heathrow without the necessary documentation, Heathrow officials sent him back to Charles de Gaulle. Nasseri was unable to prove his identity or his refugee status to the French officials and so he was moved to the Waiting zone, a holding area for travellers without papers.

Nasseri was reportedly the inspiration behind the 2004 movie The Terminal. Unlike Tom Hanks' character in the movie, Nasseri does not live in the duty-free transit area but simply in the departure hall, in the circular boutiques and restaurants passage on the lowest floor. He does not seem to speak with anyone normally. With his cart and bags, he almost looks like a traveler, so people either do not notice him or ignore him as if he were a homeless person.

6 . Mitsuo - a japanese Jesus Christ

Matayoshi Mitsuo is an eccentric Japanese politician with the conviction that he is Christ.According to his program, he will do the Last Judgement as the Christ but the way to do this is totally within the current political system and its legitimacy. His first step as the Savior is to be appointed the prime minister of Japan. Then he will reform Japanese society and then the United Nations should offer him the honor of its General Secretary. Then Matayoshi Jesus will reign over the whole world with two legitimate authorities, not only religious but also political.
He has become well-known for his eccentric campaigns where he urges opponents to commit suicide by hara-kiri.

7 . Bihari - most officially dead person

Lal Bihari  is a farmer from Uttar Pradesh, India who was officially dead from 1976 to 1994. He founded Mritak Sangh or the Association of the Dead in Uttar Pradesh, India. He fought Indian government bureaucracy for 18 years to prove that he is alive.

When Lal Bihari tried to apply for a bank loan in 1976, he found out that he was officially dead. His uncle had bribed a government official to register him as dead so he would get the ownership of Bihari's land.

Bihari discovered at least 100 other people in a similar situation, being officially dead. He formed Mritak Sangh in the Azamgarh district. By 2004 they had managed to declare four of their members alive.

8 . Icke: our salvation from Reptilian Humanoids

David Icke, is a former professional football player, BBC television sports presenter, and British Green Party national spokesperson. Since 1990, he has been what he calls a "full-time investigator into who and what is really controlling the world.".

He dresses only in turquoise and sustains that the world was ruled by a secret group called "The Elite": a race of reptilian humanoids, known in ancient times as the Babylonian Brotherhood, and that many prominent people are descended from them, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, and Kris Kristofferson. After a five-hour speech to students, he received a standing ovation at the University of Toronto in 1999.

9 . Lotito - mister eat-it-all

Michel Lotito (June 15, 1950) is a French entertainer. Lotito, who was born in Grenoble, is famous as the consumer of undigestables, and is known as Mister Eat-it-all. Lotito's performances are the consumption of metal, glass, rubber and so on in items such as bicycles, televisions, a Cessna 150, and smaller items which are disassembled, cut-up and swallowed. The aircraft took roughly two years to be 'eaten' from 1978 to 1980.
Lotito does not often suffer from ill-effects due to his diet, even after the consumption of materials usually considered poisonous. When performing he consumes around a kilogram of material daily, preceding it with mineral oil and drinking considerable quantities of water during the 'meal'.

10 . Bawden: the self-elected Pope Michael I

David Allen Bawden (born 1959), is an American citizen who was elected "Pope Michael I" by a group of six Conclavist, arguing that the elections of the last 6 popes were invalid because they are all modernists.
Sedevacantists argue that if the College of Cardinals  cannot elect a valid pope, ordinary Catholics can do so, under the principle of "Epikeia" (Equity). Acting on the basis of this, David Bawden was elected Pope by six people on 1990 . He is still on the job to this day.

In 2010, Marion Cotillard received a Golden Globe nomination for her performance in “Nine”

Helen Mirren has won an Academy Award, four SAG Awards, four BAFTAs, three Golden Globes, four Emmy Awards, and two Cannes Film Festivals during her career