HUMOUR BOOK

1. An Ethiopian man had 222 metallic objects in his stomach. Two hundred and twenty-two. The collection included nails, door keys, watch batteries, and hair pins. The cause of the weird eating was likely mental illness.  

2. Surgical instruments have been left behind in patients on many occasions, but even so, it was a shock for one Pittsburgh man wound up with a 10-inch retractor lodged in his abdomen. Even more worst : When the man complained for pains, doctors told him to see a psychiatrist instead of checking their pockets for the missing tools. 

3. A living worm - yes,an actual, living, writhing worm - was found inside a girl's brain. After experiencing swelling and numbness, the woman had an MRI that revealed what looked like a foreign growth on her brain stem, but it turned out to be a tapeworm.

4. A death row inmate in Amarillo was among a group of convicts found in November 2008 to be in possession of contraband cell phones. The inmate’s chosen hiding spot? His rectum. The phone was found thanks to an X-ray scan.

5. A 10-pound ball of hair was found inside an 18-year-old woman’s stomach. Actually she had a habit of chewing on and eating her hair, which gradually accumulated in her gut. 

6. A new species was discovered when a fanged leech was pulled from the nose of a young girl who was bathing in a river in Peru.

7. An Indian man lived his whole life with a big belly, but sudden pain at the age of 36 sent him rushing to the hospital, where the doctors opened him up to find a human fetus. It was the mutated body of the man’s twin, which he’d absorbed before birth but which had continued to dwell in his body. 

8. A chunk of human lung was found in the stomach of a rapper who murdered his roommate and ingested part of her lung in order to promote a hardcore image for himself on behalf of his record label.

9. In 2008, surgeons in Bangladesh removed a tumor from a 35-year-old man’s abdomen that weighed — wait for it — 95 pounds.

10. A set of false teeth were found in a woman’s stomach when she complained of pains. Although initially reluctant to divulge how they got there, she eventually admitted she had swallowed her boyfriend’s dentures while experimenting with “a special type of passionate kiss.”

11. A Japanese man checked into the hospital complaining of the stomach pain, surgeons thought they’d found a tumor. Wrong: It was a surgical towel that had been left inside the man 25 years earlier when he underwent surgery for a minor ulcer.

12. A Czech woman wound up with a foot-long medical tool in her abdomen that doctors forgot to remove after performing gynecological surgery.

13. More than 20 cobblestones were found in the stomach of a Chinese woman who, for reasons only known to her, swallowed them after having a fight with her boyfriend.

14. A plastic piece of fork was found in a man’s lung in North Carolina.

15. More than 30 years ago, a Dutch woman went to the hospital complaining of a stomachache, and that’s when doctors found 78 pieces of cutlery inside her. The woman suffered from a personality disorder that caused her to ignore her food at mealtime and instead go right for the silver, though for some reason, she only at the forks and spoons, never the knives.

16-18. An MSNBC report found that a trio of midwestern women had suffered particularly painful episodes after physical object were left behind in their bodies after various surgeries. One woman had knee surgery but still felt pain: The doctor had left a 2-inch scalpel blade in her leg. Another  had a breast biopsy but dealt with pain for eight more years: A new mammogram revealed that a broken needle was embedded in her breast. And third was the victim of faulty construction when a metallic blood-clot filter shifted inside her, punctured a vein, and took multiple procedures to successfully remove.

19. Thirty magnets and steel balls were found inside an 8-year-old Indiana girl after she said they “looked like candy” and wolfed them down.

20. An Israeli woman swallowed a cockroach as well as the fork she used to try and get it out. The big flew into her mouth as she was cleaning house, and in a panic, she tried to scoop the insect out with a fork but wound up swallowing that, as well. Surgery got the fork out, but the bug had already been digested.